ENTER ARCHIVE
A MATTERHOOD PROJECT

Words for when theirs fall short.

A catalog of the well-meaning, the clueless, and the truly unhinged things people say about fertility—to women, to men, to couples, to anyone on this path. Documented. And paired with responses—from diplomatic to delightfully absurd. You choose.

60 DOCUMENTED COMMENTS
4 RESPONSE STYLES
PATIENCE REQUIRED
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People mean well. The comments still land wrong.

Family dinners. Office kitchens. Checkout queues. The comments arrive gift-wrapped in good intentions and leave you searching for words that won't burn bridges—or get you arrested.

"Just relax and it'll happen."
TRANSLATION: YOUR ANXIETY CAUSED THIS
"Have you tried yoga?"
TRANSLATION: HAVE YOU TRIED NOT HAVING A MEDICAL CONDITION
"Everything happens for a reason."
TRANSLATION: THE UNIVERSE PLANNED YOUR SUFFERING

If you've heard these, you're not alone. If you've said them, you're also not alone—and now you know better.

Specimens + Responses

Four ways to respond. Choose your weapon.

From the gracious deflection to the gloriously unhinged. Every comment comes with all four, at three spice levels. Because sometimes you need options.

🎭
DIPLOMAT
Graceful deflection for relationships you still need. The verbal equivalent of a firm smile.
"Thank you for thinking of us. We're navigating this the best we can."
📋
CRITIC
Facts delivered firmly. For those who confuse opinions with medical degrees.
"Stress doesn't cause my particular condition. But it's a popular theory."
🎪
ABSURDIST
Matching absurdity with absurdity. Deeply satisfying. Mildly confusing for them.
"I'll ask my ovaries to meditate. They've been very tense lately."
💬
REALIST
Honest and grounded. No games, just truth. For when you're done performing.
"The treatments failed. We didn't. But it took time to understand the difference."

Fertility Comments Bingo

How many have you collected? Mark the ones you've heard. Add your own special gem in the middle. Export for your support group—or just as evidence that this is, in fact, a thing.

BINGO
THINGS PEOPLE ACTUALLY SAY
"Just relax"
"Have you tried yoga?"
"My cousin..."
"You're still young"
"Just adopt"
"For a reason"
"Sleep in on weekends"
"Grandkids when?"
"God's plan"
"Great parent"
"Acupuncture?"
"Stop thinking about it"
"Least expect it"
"Just do IVF"
"Enjoy your freedom"
"Trying too hard"
"Sure you want kids?"
"On vacation"
"Pineapple core?"
"Have each other"
"Not meant to be"
"Fun aunt/uncle"
"Surrogacy?"
"Be grateful"
0
OF 25 HEARD
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Playing infertility bingo at the family dinner. Again.
When the comments write themselves.
Send this to your support group.

This grief is real. Even when no one sends flowers.

Infertility and childlessness can feel like a loss no one acknowledges. No funeral, no casseroles, no "sorry for your loss." Just silence—or worse, advice. The grief hits everyone involved—the person going through treatment, and the partner holding their hand through it. The Protocol is part of Matterhood, a community for people walking this path. Whatever brought you here: you belong.

VISIT MATTERHOOD →

Bear witness. Add to the archive.

Heard something that belongs here? Your experience matters. No personal details required—just the words that landed.

This archive exists for everyone navigating infertility, childlessness, or loss—regardless of gender. If you've heard it, you've earned the right to document it.

WITNESS SUBMISSION

We document the absurdity—not attack the people. All submissions reviewed before inclusion.

No personal information collected. Completely anonymous.

We're not therapists. We're just people who've heard "everything happens for a reason" enough times to build a database. This is shared experience, not medical advice. If you're struggling, please talk to a professional. And if you're here because someone shared a card with you—thank you for wanting to understand.

Ready to find your words?

You don't owe anyone an explanation. But if you want one ready—one that doesn't involve screaming—we've got you.

ENTER THE ARCHIVE
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